Vehicular and Political Fun

A more general post about Butter Lamb and beginnings of life on this Left Coast is overdue, so once Dan gets through his California drivers license written test today, we'll be back on track with our more adventurous musings.

On that note, both of us have to obtain California drivers licenses. Neither of us have taken a written drivers test in years. Try 12 years. We obviously know how to drive or else we couldn't have made it across the country in one piece. We know basics. A stop sign means stop. Green light means go. We've even learned that in SF, when parking on a hill, tires need to either be turned in or out.

However, after picking up the California drivers booklet, we have figured out that we know much less than we thought. An embarrassing amount less. For example:

- Going less than the speed limit may be illegal, even when a tsunami has hit.

- Low beam headlights might be the same as regular headlights which may or may not be the same as your fog lights, depending on make and model of car.

Then again, at least we knew the obvious:

- Do not shoot at road signs while driving.

- If you refuse to wear a seat belt for the driving part of the exam, you will not be allowed to take the test.

- Individuals are not allowed to ride on or in parts of your car not intended for passengers. Ie, the trunk, the roof, the exhaust pipe.

It's also disturbing to see the Gubernator on the "welcome" page of the driver's manual. The man who starred in Kindegarten Cop runs this state, the seventh or eighth largest economy IN THE WORLD. Didn't people learn that actors don't make good politicians? Three words - Bedtime for Bonzo.

Not as if things are better on the national level. Turning on the news today, I saw that the current Czar of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, has a "gut feeling" that there's another terror attack coming. Are you serious? I mean, I could go to a psychic for that sort of expert analysis. Or, think about it myself, since we've been spared by terrorists for awhile now. You know, maybe I should have this job. I have a gut feeling that my landlady is slightly nutty, but you know what? I'll leave that to the Secretary, the expert analyst and CABINET MEMBER to figure out that one. Maybe I can color code my gut feelings, too.